Tuesday, 31 July 2012

In there

31 July 2012
I have undergone some sessions on meditation at different times. This is something I had never seriously looked into before. In a training workshop on noetic action which I finished two months back, a small session on meditation was conducted. I was quite inspired by the training and thought that I shall have to internalise meditation somehow. It was the last day of the training and after the long tiring day in the peak of the summer, I had one more task in front of me. I was supposed to pick from Dadar station, my mother in law and brother in law, who are not used to hustle and bustle of the city. Their train was going to arrive by midnight and I had to start for Dadar by taking the local train by 11:00 pm.
Even at night, temperatures had not come down much and humid air was causing incessant sweating. I was extremely tired and wished that I got through the task and lay myself down on the bed as early as possible. The local train arrived at the station and I hopped in. It was night time and crowds had started to recede. I found a seat and then train started. There were 20 minutes to go till I reached Dadar.
I closed my eyes but realised that if I kept my eyes closed, I might just start snoozing. The thought of practicing some meditation came to my mind. I closed my eyes and started focussing on my breath. The thoughts started flooding in. There were so many things to do and the time that I seemed to have was so little. I was feeling an upsurge of activity in my brain and it was difficult to concentrate. I opened my eyes and saw that people in the train were mostly busy with themselves. Some were reading, some looking out from the window or chatting with their fellow passengers. Nobody knew me and nobody seemed to be bothered about me sitting upright with my eyes closed.
I closed my eyes again with more determination to be successful with the meditation this time. I decided to count my breaths till 30. I started off to find that I was getting distracted by my own thoughts. I tried focussing again and renewed my target. This time I did not try to control the thoughts but just kept on counting the breaths. To my surprise, this time just after 10 breaths, I found that thoughts were not distracting me any more and in fact they had stopped. After a while breaths started to slow down and I had started to like the peace in my mind. I could hear all the external sounds such as people talking, loud calls by moving vendors, hissing and creaking of train and still nothing was disturbing me. I could hear a eunuch clapping and begging. I could perceive him coming near me but I did not feel like opening my eyes though I like majority of the people become uneasy by such things. I kept on counting and concentrating on breath. The eunuch came near me and begged for money by keeping his palm on my head. While I was totally unmoved, he said sorry and went away.
After about 200 breaths I opened my eyes and I felt a lot of things had not changed. Out there except for the man in front of me who was looking at me, the way movement of the people was taking place had not changed at all. It seemed that time had not progressed much. However I found for myself that I was not feeling hot and sweaty. My mind did not have any clutter. In there I was at peace with my own pace.