31 July 2012
I have undergone some sessions on meditation at different times. This is
something I had never seriously looked into before. In a training workshop on noetic
action which I finished two months back, a small session on meditation was
conducted. I was quite inspired by the training and thought that I shall have to
internalise meditation somehow. It was the last day of the training and after
the long tiring day in the peak of the summer, I had one more task in front of
me. I was supposed to pick from Dadar
station, my mother in law and brother in law, who are not used to hustle and bustle of the city. Their train was going to arrive by midnight and I had to start for
Dadar by taking the local train by 11:00 pm.
Even at night, temperatures had not come down much and humid air was causing incessant sweating. I was extremely tired and wished that I got
through the task and lay myself down on the bed as early as possible. The local
train arrived at the station and I hopped in. It was night time and crowds had
started to recede. I found a seat and then train started. There were 20
minutes to go till I reached Dadar.
I closed my eyes but realised that if I kept my eyes closed, I might just
start snoozing. The thought of practicing some meditation came to my mind. I
closed my eyes and started focussing on my breath. The thoughts started flooding
in. There were so many things to do and the time that I seemed to have was so little. I was
feeling an upsurge of activity in my brain and it was difficult to concentrate.
I opened my eyes and saw that people in the train were mostly busy with
themselves. Some were reading, some looking out from the window or chatting with their fellow
passengers. Nobody knew me and nobody seemed to be bothered about me sitting
upright with my eyes closed.
I closed my eyes again with more determination to be successful with the meditation
this time. I decided to count my breaths till 30. I started off to find that I
was getting distracted by my own thoughts. I tried focussing again and renewed my target. This time I did not try to
control the thoughts but just kept on counting the breaths. To my surprise, this
time just after 10 breaths, I found that thoughts were not distracting me any
more and in fact they had stopped. After a while breaths started to slow down
and I had started to like the peace in my mind. I could hear all the external
sounds such as people talking, loud calls by moving vendors, hissing and
creaking of train and still nothing was disturbing me. I could hear a
eunuch clapping and begging. I could perceive him coming near me but I did not
feel like opening my eyes though I like majority of the people become
uneasy by such things. I kept on counting and concentrating on breath. The
eunuch came near me and begged for money by keeping his palm on my head. While I was
totally unmoved, he said sorry and went away.
After about 200 breaths I opened my eyes and I felt a lot of things had not
changed. Out there except for the man in front of me who was looking at me, the
way movement of the people was taking place had not changed at all. It seemed that time had not progressed much. However I found for myself that I was not
feeling hot and sweaty. My mind did not have any clutter. In there I was at
peace with my own pace.